Can I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back If She Cheated on Me?

Question:  Even though my ex girlfriend did cheat on me when we were dating,  and that was the reason why we broke up,  I am starting to feel like maybe I shouldn’t have done that.  A part of me thinks that we should have worked things out and then there is a part of me that thinks that maybe I did the right thing.  I guess what I am wondering is,  if my ex girlfriend was the one that cheated on me,  can I get her back?

Answer:  I am going to answer the question of can you get her back first and the answer to that is most likely yes.  HOWEVER,  you do want to take this seriously and really put some thought into actually going ahead and trying to win her back and I’ll tell you why.  The reality is,  if she hasn’t worked out whatever it was that caused her to go outside of the relationship and you end up back with her,  it very well could happen again.

The problem that some guys face when they get cheated on is,  they start to think that it must have been their fault.  They start to feel like they are partially responsible for their ex girlfriend going out and sleeping with another guy and I know that there are people (even therapists) that will agree with that,  however,  I don’t think you have to accept that responsibility.

Sure,  you might have been a bad boyfriend,  but the reality is that she didn’t have to go and sleep with another guy if there were issues that needed to be worked on.  So,  even though it is entirely possible that you can get back your ex girlfriend if she was the one that cheated on you,  you might really want to take some time to think about actually going ahead and doing that.

I’ll give you an example of someone I knew that actually did have that situation where his ex girlfriend cheated,  they did break up,  and then he did take her back.  Probably about 3 months later they were having some problems and guess what she did?  Yep – she went ahead and slept with another guy.

That is a reality that you have to consider,  even if you still feel as though you have feelings for your ex girlfriend.  As much as it probably sucked to find out that she cheated on you the first time around,  could you handle hearing about it a second time?

If you don’t think that you’d be able to handle that,  I’d say that you probably should not get back with her,  even though it is possible to do.

How Do I Get My Ex Girlfriend to Feel Like She Can Trust Me Again?

Question:  I hate to admit this,  but a few months ago,  I cheated on the girl I was dating.  She didn’t find out until recently and when she did,  she got pissed off.  Really mad.  We broke up and at first, she wouldn’t even talk to me.  Now she is talking to me and we still definitely flirt and have chemistry with one another,  but she keeps on saying that she cannot trust me and to her,  that is a big deal.  What can I do to make my ex girlfriend feel like she can trust me again,  because I am pretty sure that if I can win back her trust,  we’d be a couple again.

Answer:  Winning back your ex girlfriend’s trust is not going to be that easy,  especially since it seems like that is one of her things that she considers to be a make or break situation.  That’s not uncommon,  a lot of women will forgive you for a lot of things,  but not for cheating.  However,  it does sound like there is some hope,  because if the chemistry is still there and you are still flirting with her and she is still flirting with you,  then you do have something to work with.

Here are some of my thoughts on what you can do and what you should expect if you want to win back your ex girlfriend’s trust after cheating on her:

1.  Don’t expect that it is going to happen on your timeline,  it is only going to happen on hers.

You really can’t do a woman dirty and cheat on her and then expect her to trust you again when you want her to.  This is a situation where you really do have to work with her timeline.  Some women may take weeks and some may take months.  And the reality is that she might come back to you without fully trusting you.

2.  Don’t give her a reason to expect that you are going to do it again.

You don’t want to flirt with another woman in front of her,  you don’t want to act like you are hiding stuff around her because all of that is going to make her feel like she still cannot trust you.  You have to be clear that you are not going to do anything to make her suspicious of you.

3.  You have to continue to work on that flirting and that chemistry.

If you can make her feel like the chemistry with you is really strong and that flirting with you is more fun than flirting with any other guy,  then you give her a reason to want to try to trust you again.  Like I said,  it may take some time but the more she wants to be with you,  the more likely she is going to at least try to trust you and I don’t think that you can really ask for more than that.