What If My Girlfriend Says That We Need a Break?

Question:  My girlfriend started to hint at the idea of taking a break from each other for a little while.  I get the feeling that this is just an easy way of her dumping me without actually having to dump me.  Do you think I am right and what can I do because I really don’t want to end up losing her?

Answer:  Yeah,  when a woman you are dating says that you need to take a break,  it is not a good sign,  that is for sure.  No woman who is truly in love and happy with the guy she is dating says that they should take a break.

Most likely you are right in feeling as though this is her way of taking the easy road as far as breaking up goes.  What you need to do,  is to try to put your finger on why it is that she feels that way.

See,  if you don’t know what the problem is,  you can’t really fix the problem.  That would be where I would start.  Take a look at what has happened recently between you and her.

  • Have you been fighting a lot?
  • Do you spend time with one another or do you go off and do your own thing?
  • Is there an issue that has come up but neither one of you are ready to face it?

If you don’t want to lose her,  then you have to be able to face the reality of the situation.

You have to face the reality that this is basically a break up situation,  that there must have been something that was happening or not happening to make her feel like taking a break is the right thing to do,  and you have to figure out what you can do to change the way that she feels.

Most of the time,  when a woman says that she wants to take a break from the relationship,  it means that she is ending it for good.

There ARE things that you can do to change her mind.  And the quicker you can figure out what it is that you need to do – the better.  The more she drifts away from you right now,  the more likely it is that she is going to be on the lookout for a new guy.

It’s much harder to patch things up with a woman when she is in the state of mind where she really wants to find a new guy.  That’s not to say that you should pester her for attention right now.

You need to know what needs fixing and what you can do to make her feel MORE ATTRACTED to you so that she wants to work things out with you.

How Do I Tell My Ex I Still Love Her?

Question:  I really feel like I still love my ex girlfriend.  Right after we broke up,  I was mad as hell at her,  but that only lasted like a week.  After that,  all I can do is think about her and how much I love her.  I want her back and I want her to be my girlfriend again,  but I don’t know how to tell her that I still love her.  I don’t want to say that to her and then have her act like she doesn’t feel the same way.  How do I tell my ex that I still am in love with her?

Answer:  You DON’T.  Not yet.  You have to be willing to put that off for right now.  I know,  you think it will feel really good to get it off your chest,  but how long will that good feeling last if she gives you that weird look that totally tells you that she doesn’t feel that way about you right now?

What you have to do,  if you want her back as your girlfriend,  is put off the idea of telling your ex girlfriend that you still love her for right now.

Timing is a huge issue when it comes to telling a woman that you love her,  even if she is someone that you used to tell that to when you were dating.  If you are not in a relationship with her right now and you are not dating,  the time is NOT RIGHT.

You have to make her feel like she is falling back in love with you and that is when you can tell her that you love her.  That is when she is going to hear you say that and feel like it is what she has wanted you to say.  That is when the timing is going to be right.  Look,  you can’t make a woman want to come back to you just by saying that you love her.  It’s not that easy.  You have to make her feel like she still loves you so that when you DO say I love you to her,  she feels the same exact way.

To make it easy,  this is the takeaway if you still love your ex girlfriend and you want to tell her:

  • Hold off because the timing isn’t right yet…
  • Make her fall back in love with you…
  • Tell her when she is ready to hear it…

Can I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back If She Cheated on Me?

Question:  Even though my ex girlfriend did cheat on me when we were dating,  and that was the reason why we broke up,  I am starting to feel like maybe I shouldn’t have done that.  A part of me thinks that we should have worked things out and then there is a part of me that thinks that maybe I did the right thing.  I guess what I am wondering is,  if my ex girlfriend was the one that cheated on me,  can I get her back?

Answer:  I am going to answer the question of can you get her back first and the answer to that is most likely yes.  HOWEVER,  you do want to take this seriously and really put some thought into actually going ahead and trying to win her back and I’ll tell you why.  The reality is,  if she hasn’t worked out whatever it was that caused her to go outside of the relationship and you end up back with her,  it very well could happen again.

The problem that some guys face when they get cheated on is,  they start to think that it must have been their fault.  They start to feel like they are partially responsible for their ex girlfriend going out and sleeping with another guy and I know that there are people (even therapists) that will agree with that,  however,  I don’t think you have to accept that responsibility.

Sure,  you might have been a bad boyfriend,  but the reality is that she didn’t have to go and sleep with another guy if there were issues that needed to be worked on.  So,  even though it is entirely possible that you can get back your ex girlfriend if she was the one that cheated on you,  you might really want to take some time to think about actually going ahead and doing that.

I’ll give you an example of someone I knew that actually did have that situation where his ex girlfriend cheated,  they did break up,  and then he did take her back.  Probably about 3 months later they were having some problems and guess what she did?  Yep – she went ahead and slept with another guy.

That is a reality that you have to consider,  even if you still feel as though you have feelings for your ex girlfriend.  As much as it probably sucked to find out that she cheated on you the first time around,  could you handle hearing about it a second time?

If you don’t think that you’d be able to handle that,  I’d say that you probably should not get back with her,  even though it is possible to do.