Sweet Things to Say to Your Ex Girlfriend – Don’t Overdo It

I had to write this, because I just came across one of those really generic articles, obviously written by a guy who doesn’t get laid much. It was one of those “sweet things to say to your ex girlfriend” pieces and before I landed on it, I already knew what it was going to say. Look, the idea that you were not sweet enough and that is why she broke up with you – that’s a crock. Seriously.

I know. Some guys are complete douchebags when they are in a relationship and maybe for them, coming across a little bit sweeter might work. Might not.

If you are a good guy and she ended the relationship – it probably wasn’t because you weren’t sweet enough. Sweet can easily be overdone.

These kinds of articles always say the same thing

  • Tell her you love her
  • Tell her you miss her
  • Tell her you are thinking about her
  • Etc,

That doesn’t work in most, nearly all situations. Doing that is going to make you seem like just another guy who doesn’t get it. That is NOT the way that you want to come across. You can be a nice guy with an edge and get your ex girlfriend back way faster than some guy who’s going on and on about how much he misses her, how much he loves her, etc.

What DOES work?

Instead of fixating on saying sweet things to your ex girlfriend, why not say things that are going to make her feel attracted to you?

Why not say things that are going to make you look a little more irresistible?

Here is a little bit of what I mean, an example of what I told a guy to say to his ex girlfriend that actually worked… none of that lovey dovey stuff.

Her: So, how’ve you been?

Him: Awesome!

Her: Really? Awesome? That’s good.

Him: Yeah, so how’ve you been?

Her: Bored.

Him: That sucks… you should get out more.

Her: Where am I going to go? I have work and school, you know that.

Him: You’ve got Friday nights free.

Her: Yeah, but where would I go?

Him: (Laughs) Are you asking to tag-along with me?

Her: No… why what are you doing Friday?

Him: Shooting some pool, probably check out this band that is playing later.

Her: I like pool.

Him: Stop begging (laughs). You sound like you are trying to get me to ask you to come along?

Her: (Laughs) Maybe.

Him: I gotta get going… I’ll be at (pool hall name) at 7. Stop in if you want.

Her: Okay.

She showed up. Tagged along with him to see that band. They hooked up. See that? No sappy “I still love you.” No “I miss you so much.”

Sappy doesn’t work most of the time.  Anyone that advises that sappy stuff,  probably doesn’t get much action and probably has never actually gotten an ex girlfriend back.

You want her back?

How to Talk to Your Ex Girlfriend Without Making Her Feel Uncomfortable

If you are trying to get back with an ex girlfriend, you are going to have to find a way to talk to her without making her feel uncomfortable. It might be strange at first to think that you could ever make her feel that way, as that is not what your intention is.  However, once a relationship comes to an end, things change.

The way that she feels when she is around you can change just as quickly. There are certain things that you don’t really want to get into if you are having a conversation with your ex girlfriend if you don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.

You really shouldn’t want to make her feel that way if your intention is to win her back. The more awkward or uncomfortable that she feels, the less likely you are going to get the time that you need to really make any advances towards a reconciliation.

Here is some advice on how to talk to your ex girlfriend so that you don’t end up making her feel uncomfortable:

1. You want to stay away from discussing things that will lead to an argument.

I am sure that you already know very well what things that you can bring up that will probably lead to an argument with her. Those are the kinds of topics that you don’t want to discuss. If every time that your ex girlfriend has a conversation with you, it leads to fighting, she isn’t going to want to give you the time of day after a while. And that’s going to be hard to overcome if you are trying to win her back.

2. You also want to try to stay away from sounding too mushy, too cheesy when talking to her.

You might want to come across as being the most romantic man on earth when you are talking to your ex girlfriend, but in the context of being her ex boyfriend, that’s just going to come across the wrong way. That’s not to say that you don’t want to be nice, or that you don’t want to toss in a sweet thing to say to your ex girlfriend here and there. Just don’t go overboard with it.

3. You DO want to talk about things that make her smile, feel good, and remember the good times with you.

The more good feelings that your ex girlfriend associates with you, the more likely it is that she is going to want to continue to have conversations with you and spend time with you. And, if you can keep making her feel really good around you, the odds that you’ll be able to attract her back to you are going to shoot through the roof.

How Do I Start a Conversation With My Ex Girlfriend About the Break Up?

Question:  Recently,  I was dumped by my girlfriend and I don’t really know why she broke up with me.  I don’t really feel like getting back together is the right thing to do,  but I do want to know why it was that she broke up with me.  I think that whatever her reason was,  it could help me out if I end up with a new girlfriend.  It used to be so easy,  now I find it hard to talk to my ex girlfriend.  How do I start a conversation with my ex girlfriend about the break up so that she tells me the truth about why she ended the relationship?

Answer:  I totally get where you are coming from and to be honest,  I think it is kind of cool that you want to know what her reasons for ending the relationship were.  After all,  you can’t really learn how to be a better boyfriend unless you know what mistakes that you have made in the past.  You might want to remind yourself,  though,  that she doesn’t really “owe” you an answer,  even if you do feel kind of like she does.  Keep that in mind,  because sometimes,  we just don’t get to find out what the REAL reason was.

What I would do is try to get in touch with her and let her know right off the bat that you are not trying to get back together. You might have to reinforce that a couple of times,  because she’ll probably be a little bit skeptical about what your real intentions are.  At that point,  let her know that you are just trying to “better” yourself and that you want to know what you did wrong or what you could have done differently that would have made her want to stay with you.

As long as you don’t rehash old wounds,  you will probably get somewhat of an answer from her.  Just don’t expect her to spill the beans on all of the reasons why she ended the relationship.  She might not be ready to talk about that,  she might not even know,  as sometimes a woman will end a relationship based on her feelings more than anything else.

It’s a very good idea to find out what you might have done wrong so that you don’t make the same mistakes with the next girlfriend. Be realistic and know that as much as you might want to know all of her reasons,  you might not find out EVERYTHING.