Why do you think my ex girlfriend won’t stop texting me?

Question: My ex and I broke up a while ago after dating for about a year. During that time, she leaned on me a lot for support. Since the break up, she texts me just as much and maybe more than she did when we were dating. But it’s always just her venting about something or looking for emotional support. I’d be lying if I said a part of me doesn’t like the fact that she’s still texting me all the time. But it’s confusing. Because I am trying to move on and it’s pretty hard to do when she keeps contacting me. Why do you think she won’t stop texting me? Is it just for venting and emotional support or does she want to get back together?

Answer: From what you’ve said, I think you already know what the answer probably is. Now, there are probably things that I don’t know, details that you might have left out. But from what I can gather from your question, I’d say it is pretty likely that she likes (and maybe feels like she needs) to keep you around to support her emotionally and for her to be able to vent about stuff.

  • Ask yourself, if that DID mean she wanted you back, would that be the kind of relationship you’d want to be in?
  • Would you want to be her psychological sounding board?

I can’t answer that for you. What I can say, is that I wouldn’t want that. Sure, when you are dating someone, you do sound off every now and again. That’s to be expected. But if that’s the bulk of what is keeping the two of you together … well, that doesn’t sound like much fun.

Here’s what you could do as a little bit of a test.

If all of her texts are her sounding off and nothing else … Ignore them.

See what she does next. You’ll know if she wants you around only to be her emotional sounding board if you ignore those texts and she stops texting you.

On the other hand, if you ignore those and she starts sending you texts that are more fun and flirty, then maybe she does want to get back together.

But still, you gotta ask yourself …

What kind of relationship do you want to be in?

And if she can’t give you that relationship, there’s nothing wrong with staying broken up, moving on, and totally ignoring her texts.

What If My Ex Girlfriend Texted That She Misses Me?

Question: I got the weirdest text the other day from my ex girlfriend. It said that she missed me. I kind of didn’t know what to text back because I wanted to try to act like it wasn’t really that big of a deal, but it really was. I miss her too and I would like to be able to date her again. My question is, what would be a good response to send her if my ex girlfriend texted that she misses me?

Answer: The first thing I would say is that quite often it can be a good sign to have your ex girlfriend send you a text message that she misses you, however, I wouldn’t read too much into it just yet. A lot of women will have one of those lonely nights after a break up, send their ex boyfriend a message saying that they miss them, but by the next day … act like they don’t feel that way at all. And that usually makes the guy feel all confused and like he doesn’t know what to do.

Playing it cool is usually a good thing to do. You don’t want to take her sending you a text that she misses you as being a sign that you can just pour out your heart and forget about all of the things that you need to do in order to win her back. Like I said, that can be a good sign, but it can also be just a passing moment and the next day or a few days later, she might not really feel the same way that she felt when she sent you that text saying that she missed you.

One of the best things that you can do, is to use texting as a way to build up her attraction so that you know it is not just a passing phase. In order to do that, you want to stay away from sending her things that can be misconstrued as a sign of you not really being able to move on. Something a little fun and playful, without the risk of hurting her feelings can be a good idea.

So, if your ex girlfriend sends a text that she misses you, you can send her something back like:

That’s cute. You miss me. So, whatcha up to?

And see if she responds back. They key is to see if she responds back to that and how she responds. If she acts like her text was a mistake, and just one of those weak moments, that’s not really a good thing. If she responds with something playful back, like she wants to flirt with you, that can be a good thing and that is a good time to really try to turn things up a bit to see if you can really make her feel attracted to you again.