Question: Hello, I’ve been trying to follow the rule of having no contact with my ex girlfriend, but I am having a hard time. See, we live close to one another and attend the same gym, go to the same stores, etc. So, I really can’t have no contact at all with her. I am going to see her in social situations from time to time or just when I am out and about. How should I handle this?
Answer: When it comes to having no contact with an ex girlfriend, sometimes you really are in a situation where you can’t literally have no contact at all. You don’t want to walk right past her and totally ignore her. Well, you could probably get away with doing that once or twice but beyond that and it is going to look like you are just ignoring her to spite her and that is not a good way to leave things open to reconciliation at some later point in time.
In these kinds of situations, the best thing that you can do is have LIMITED contact with her. For example, you are in the gym and you walk by her and she makes eye contact with you. If you totally ignore her, you are going to look like you are doing that just to be a jerk and that’s not a good thing. However, you can give her a quick nod hello and a smile and carry on as if you are so focused on working out that you don’t have time to chat. That is still going to have a positive effect because of the fact that you didn’t act like a jerk to her, but you also didn’t stop to spend time with her.
Or, you can shoot the breeze with her for a moment or two and then walk on to do whatever else it was that you were going to do. The key benefit from applying no contact or in this case limited contact is to NOT act like most guys who try to give their ex girlfriend TOO MUCH attention after the break up, to not get into any little spats that might cause her to end up hating you, and to make her feel curious about you.
You can do all of those things by having limited contact with her.
I know, there are some people that are a little bit to literal when they talk about having no contact with an ex girlfriend. They’ll tell you that you’ve screwed up any chance of getting her back if you even say hello to her, but that really isn’t the case. In your situation, just limit the contact as much as possible for a little while and you should be okay.