The 30 day no contact rule – what is it and how does it work?

So … we’re going to talk about the 30 day no contact rule. You may have heard of this already and you may not have.

For that reason …

We’re going to first look at the basics of what it is and how it works:

What is the 30 day no contact rule?

Simply put … It’s a simple rule of thumb saying that you should go 30 days without contact with your ex girlfriend. Even though that is probably the last thing you want to do … there’s a good reasoning for this 30 day period.

Think of it like a relationship “time out” or a “cooling off” period.

Is it really that simple?

Yep. Try not to make it more complicated than it is. The beauty is in the simplicity of it. Lots of times, guys will ask a million questions about the no contact rule when really all they need to know is … Go around 30 days without contact.

Simple is usually better.

Of course, I know all too well that me saying to keep it simple … isn’t going to be enough. You probably still have questions … so I’m going to give you answers.

What is the psychology of the 30 day no contact rule?

It’s a mixture of things really.

1) You get the chance to put away old baggage related to the relationship.

If you are going to win her back and make it work this time around, all the old baggage has to be put down. You have to leave what is in the past … in the past. Hopefully she’ll do the same. But even if she doesn’t … all you can really control is what you do. The 30 day no contact period allows you to let go of any emotions that would sabotage you later on down the road.

2) You get the chance to work on yourself.

Time to tuck your pride away for a minute. We all have things we can work on. The 30 day no contact period gives you time to do just that. Part of what’s going to work to win her back is appearing “brand new” in some shape or form. And you can’t appear brand new if she hears from you or sees you all of the time.

3) She gets to feel the psychology of “loss.”

This is that ol’ … absence makes the heart grow fonder in action. She can’t really miss you or wish you were around … if you are always around. This 30 day period allows her to feel like what life is really like without you around.

4) You get to see if you really want her back.

Okay … so when you lose a woman … when the relationship ends … it’s painful. And what do we want to do? We want to end that pain and often we assume that getting her back is going to do the trick.

But quite often …

A lot of guys do find that they actually DON’T want her back after they have 30 days with no contact.

This is because when all the emotions are let go of … when you are getting on with your life and having fun and working on yourself …

You may just find that you actually want a NEW and BETTER girlfriend.

How long should you go with no contact with your ex girlfriend?

30 days. Kinda why it’s called the 30 day no contact rule. Although, that shouldn’t be seen as set in stone completely. Sometimes a few days less and sometimes a few day more will do the trick. Truth is, any guy who’s been pestering his ex girlfriend or coming across as really needy?

He might need more than 30 days.

Does the 30 day no contact period always work to win back an ex girlfriend?

Nope. Not always. To be totally blunt about it … the reality is that some couples should not be together. This is why one of the benefits I already mentioned was that you might find you actually don’t want your ex girlfriend back after all.

That may be a good thing.

Plenty of guys have pined away for a girl … only to find later on that when they look back on her?

They really wouldn’t want to be with her again anyways.

Does no contact with your ex girlfriend mean you can’t text her?

Yep. Texting is a form of contact. No texting for 30 days. If she texts you and it would come across cold and rude if you don’t reply at all … a simple, “Hey I’m really busy right now” might be in order.

Does no contact with your ex girlfriend also mean you can’t message her on Facebook or Instagram?

Exactly. No contact means you even have to cut off contact online. There are no loopholes here. It’s about cutting off contact for 30 days.