Why do you think my ex girlfriend won’t stop texting me?

Question: My ex and I broke up a while ago after dating for about a year. During that time, she leaned on me a lot for support. Since the break up, she texts me just as much and maybe more than she did when we were dating. But it’s always just her venting about something or looking for emotional support. I’d be lying if I said a part of me doesn’t like the fact that she’s still texting me all the time. But it’s confusing. Because I am trying to move on and it’s pretty hard to do when she keeps contacting me. Why do you think she won’t stop texting me? Is it just for venting and emotional support or does she want to get back together?

Answer: From what you’ve said, I think you already know what the answer probably is. Now, there are probably things that I don’t know, details that you might have left out. But from what I can gather from your question, I’d say it is pretty likely that she likes (and maybe feels like she needs) to keep you around to support her emotionally and for her to be able to vent about stuff.

  • Ask yourself, if that DID mean she wanted you back, would that be the kind of relationship you’d want to be in?
  • Would you want to be her psychological sounding board?

I can’t answer that for you. What I can say, is that I wouldn’t want that. Sure, when you are dating someone, you do sound off every now and again. That’s to be expected. But if that’s the bulk of what is keeping the two of you together … well, that doesn’t sound like much fun.

Here’s what you could do as a little bit of a test.

If all of her texts are her sounding off and nothing else … Ignore them.

See what she does next. You’ll know if she wants you around only to be her emotional sounding board if you ignore those texts and she stops texting you.

On the other hand, if you ignore those and she starts sending you texts that are more fun and flirty, then maybe she does want to get back together.

But still, you gotta ask yourself …

What kind of relationship do you want to be in?

And if she can’t give you that relationship, there’s nothing wrong with staying broken up, moving on, and totally ignoring her texts.